where progressives network
Weary
(Re-posted from my personal blog)
I popped into a "social networking" site I've been following on Ning the other day, and happened across the every-site typical 'intros' forum. I decided to write up a quick post and as I was submitting, the person's post who came just before mine caught my attention. It read:
hey just joined...
my name is xxxxxx and im an alco.. oh...activist?
er not as much anymore
its tough being angry all the time haha
(named omitted to respect the person's privacy)
This post really got to me because of the simple line at the end... "its tough being angry all the time". It hit home like an anvil being dropped on my head. Nothing could be closer to the truth about how I am feeling these days than that simple line. But even more than that, I'm so tired of living in a world, a community where in order to survive, to defend oneself so many of us are placed in positions to BE/FEEL angry all the time. To live with your guard up and fists clenched because you MUST in order to survive.
I don't mind working hard, but I want, ultimately, to be able to laugh a little. To step outside and appreciate the sound of the birds, or enjoy the feel of a light breeze as it ruffles its way through my hair, or to revel in the genuine heart joy I experience when I see a squirrel jump across a branch with a mouthful of nesting material. I want to just hang out with my friends and not worry about who's being screwed over by whom today, or who did what to whom in the Government. I want the peace of mind that comes with simply knowing that a reasonable amount of (safe) food is on the table, no one is going to drop dead from basic health care issues and that I don't have to worry about a roof over our heads being a day to day concern. Beyond these things, the rest is just "background noise".
For me its not about socialism, or communism, or any of the other conspiracy theories so many seem to be envisioning. It's about wanting to exist; it's about wanting a place where simply doing the best job that you can with a reasonable degree of integrity and honesty counts for something. A world in which I can take care and pride in something I create with my own hands or my own mind and not have to hover protectively over it because someone else may "take it" from me, or where I view it is a means to take MORE from OTHERS than I deserve. A world where I understand, that even in exercising my so-called "god given rights" I'm mindful that like it or not, I co-habitat on this planet, in this state, in my city, on my block with other people. And while I can and should be able, to a reasonable degree, do what I like, etc. - I need to keep in mind in so doing, that doesn't give me the right to tread on someone else's ability to do these things either. You know that old smarmy saying, "Live and let live".
So why then as I write this do I know, or at least believe, that the things I desire most and describe in these few lines are nothing more than myth and fable. That I will likely never be able to live in a world that allows for these things. So today, I am not only tired of being angry all the time - I'm just plain weary. I do not wish to fight anymore - I have been fighting since the day I drew my first breath. I simply wish to live, to laugh and to love in my own unique way and wish to respect that even if I don't understand or agree with someone else's unique way of doing things, that I can leave them in peace to also live, laugh and love in their own way.
May someone's children somewhere, some day, truly live in a world that allows us to understand without angst and anger, that we all share the same basic goals and desires ultimately, and NOT A SINGLE ONE of us is better than another or gets it "better than" someone else. Nor is any ONE OF US entitled or appointed by destiny to be in charge of who gets what in this great big world we inhabit - that we're all equal travelers on the same journey and life would be so much better for ALL OF US if we could just learn the simplicity of co-existing.
I popped into a "social networking" site I've been following on Ning the other day, and happened across the every-site typical 'intros' forum. I decided to write up a quick post and as I was submitting, the person's post who came just before mine caught my attention. It read:
hey just joined...
my name is xxxxxx and im an alco.. oh...activist?
er not as much anymore
its tough being angry all the time haha
(named omitted to respect the person's privacy)
This post really got to me because of the simple line at the end... "its tough being angry all the time". It hit home like an anvil being dropped on my head. Nothing could be closer to the truth about how I am feeling these days than that simple line. But even more than that, I'm so tired of living in a world, a community where in order to survive, to defend oneself so many of us are placed in positions to BE/FEEL angry all the time. To live with your guard up and fists clenched because you MUST in order to survive.
I don't mind working hard, but I want, ultimately, to be able to laugh a little. To step outside and appreciate the sound of the birds, or enjoy the feel of a light breeze as it ruffles its way through my hair, or to revel in the genuine heart joy I experience when I see a squirrel jump across a branch with a mouthful of nesting material. I want to just hang out with my friends and not worry about who's being screwed over by whom today, or who did what to whom in the Government. I want the peace of mind that comes with simply knowing that a reasonable amount of (safe) food is on the table, no one is going to drop dead from basic health care issues and that I don't have to worry about a roof over our heads being a day to day concern. Beyond these things, the rest is just "background noise".
For me its not about socialism, or communism, or any of the other conspiracy theories so many seem to be envisioning. It's about wanting to exist; it's about wanting a place where simply doing the best job that you can with a reasonable degree of integrity and honesty counts for something. A world in which I can take care and pride in something I create with my own hands or my own mind and not have to hover protectively over it because someone else may "take it" from me, or where I view it is a means to take MORE from OTHERS than I deserve. A world where I understand, that even in exercising my so-called "god given rights" I'm mindful that like it or not, I co-habitat on this planet, in this state, in my city, on my block with other people. And while I can and should be able, to a reasonable degree, do what I like, etc. - I need to keep in mind in so doing, that doesn't give me the right to tread on someone else's ability to do these things either. You know that old smarmy saying, "Live and let live".
So why then as I write this do I know, or at least believe, that the things I desire most and describe in these few lines are nothing more than myth and fable. That I will likely never be able to live in a world that allows for these things. So today, I am not only tired of being angry all the time - I'm just plain weary. I do not wish to fight anymore - I have been fighting since the day I drew my first breath. I simply wish to live, to laugh and to love in my own unique way and wish to respect that even if I don't understand or agree with someone else's unique way of doing things, that I can leave them in peace to also live, laugh and love in their own way.
May someone's children somewhere, some day, truly live in a world that allows us to understand without angst and anger, that we all share the same basic goals and desires ultimately, and NOT A SINGLE ONE of us is better than another or gets it "better than" someone else. Nor is any ONE OF US entitled or appointed by destiny to be in charge of who gets what in this great big world we inhabit - that we're all equal travelers on the same journey and life would be so much better for ALL OF US if we could just learn the simplicity of co-existing.
Comment
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Comment by JustDee on March 27, 2009 at 5:52pm -
@Anita - thank you for the healthy perspective. I can't even imagine being a mom and trying to bring kids up these days - you're a hero just for that if you ask me. And I love your "Just a Girl" videos! Hope to see more of them.
@ranchobob - you actually gave me a chuckle - thanks. I seem to do that so little these days. "...chiseled blog somewhere explaining how bad the Pharaoh sucked." - rofl! Priceless!
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